at this point in my life i'm not even sure if i want kids or not. but i do know that if i end up having kids, i know how i would want to raise them. they are so many people that have kids for the wrong reasons and are just not raising good people.
things that are important to teach your kids:
1. LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a.) what love is.
b.) how to love.
c.) how to be loved.
2. KNOWLEDGE
a.) to be knowledgable.
b.) to value knowledge.
c.) to respect knowledgable people.
3. FREEDOM
a.) freedom of self-expression.
b.) freedom of opinion.
c.) freedom to be who they are.
4. RESPECT
a.) to respect oneself.
b.) to respect others.
ok so now that i've said that. i don't want you to think that i'm saying everyone is doing it wrong. but unfortunately for every good parent i see, i see at least one bad one.
things to realize before you have children:
1. HAVING KIDS IS THE BIGGEST COMMITMENT OF YOUR LIFE.
there are so many parents who have kids because they want to feel good about themselves. they feel like it will make them happy. my opinion on the subject is that you should be content with who you are before you have kids. you can't just pop some babies out and get on with your life. you need to realize that if you have kids, it's not your life anymore. you are now living for them.
2. THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH YOU CAN DO TO MOLD THEM INTO PEOPLE.
when children are of the age that they can make decisions by themselves, they will. end of story. when they are young it is your responsibilty as a parent to show them what is right and what is wrong. but, they become their own person quicker than you think. frued says this happens at age six. and pressuring your children to act a certain way, like a certain thing, or hang out with certain people will merely push them away.
3. YOU NEED TO BE A STRONG PERSON AND KNOW WHERE YOU STAND MORALLY.
as a parent you must balance the tendency to be concerned with the ability to give your children freedoms. you must know what you believe in and have a strong sense of self. you must love unconditionally. you musn't force your views and opinions on your children.
4. LOVE YOUR CHILDREN BECAUSE OF THEIR FLAWS, NOT IN SPITE OF THEM.
before you become a parent you should be able to love people for who they are. you must realize that the human race is beautiful, and the diversity is what makes it beautiful. no matter what your child chooses for their life, you need to love them for it. even if you wouldn't personally choose the same thing.
i'm no expert on kids, but this is what i have learned from observation:
1. KIDS ARE GOING TO BE KIDS.
kids like to get dirty. they like to be naked. they don't like taking baths. they think it's normal to get food all over their faces when they eat. they can entertain themselves without millions of toys and video games. give them a box, they'll be in heaven.
2. KIDS KNOW WHAT THEY LIKE.
i know it's hard to believe, but by the time they can talk, they have opinions. and you need to RESPECT that. they are people too. by respecting their opinions from the very beginning you are teaching them to respect others.
3. SOMETIMES KIDS HAVE MORE KNOWLEDGE THAN ADULTS.
if you just sit down and listen to a young child once in a while, you will see that they are smarter than you think. children have a simple way of looking at things. and it can be good for adults. when i was little grown-ups would give me the excuse "it's not that simple" but now that i'm older i realize that it IS that simple. if you stand back and see things as a child, you will learn a lot.
so at the beginning of this post i stated that i didn't know if i wanted to have kids. and that is because i have realized all of this and understand that it is way harder than it looks. i respect the hell out of all the parents i know. my parents did the best they could for me, and i love them to death for it.
so i just had to get that off my chest. because i get so frustrated when i see people raising the next generation to fail. i know there are a few people that read my blog that are parents. and i would really like to see what you have to say. so post a comment if you agree, or disagree, or have anything to add.
lovin you.
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2 comments:
I agree with all of it Lisa, but then again you always were super intelligent. It's so hard to teach and mold them. Some things that must be taught take patience and time and in this day and age, time is something people seem to have little of. I can hardly keep up with my 3.
Your mom and dad are a special pair Lisa. They are AWESOME parents. Look how you turned out. I had kids cause I wanted to be a mother, and while I am fully dedicated to doing my best FOR them, I often feel as though I am not enough. If only because it's just me, and there never seems to be enough of me to go around with three of them. It's impossible to ensure the right amounts of attention. It's crazy trying to keep up with the day to day.
All I remember growing up is how close our family was, all of us, before we grew up and that had a HUGE impact on us too. We were raised by our family....in it's entirety,(Aunt Alma, Pop-Pop, Mom-Mom, Aunts, Uncles) not only our parents. And I think that was very important and helpful in teaching us our morals and values.
Civilazation has gone to hell. Our children are being raised by daycares and school systems. Family is no longer important. Or together. Society needs to rebuild and give our younger generations some real hope. Work together FOR our children,. instead of everyone for themselves.
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