Monday, June 15, 2009

i feel like i have nothing to aim for.

it's weird to me how happy i was this time last year. summer usually excites me in such a way that nothing can get me down. but i'm sure being tested.

i don't want to complain. i don't want to list everything that has went wrong in my life the past few months. but i've definitely been broken down. and every time i think 'well at least it can't get worse', it does.

i just feel really alone. i don't know many people in the city and going home isn't even comforting anymore. i feel like i'm losing touch with christina. just a little. but isn't that how things happen? one day she's the only thing i need and then i blink my eyes and we only talk once in a while.

i'm really scared that i'm going about things the wrong way. i mean if i was doing things right, wouldn't i have more to show for myself?

i can't stop thinking about meaning.


i'm crushed. i can't stop crying.

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