why am i such a horrible student? i really don't know what to do about it. i feel as though there is absolutely nothing about school that motivates me or excites me. maybe with the exception of my painting class.

fucking oedipus rex. i've read it a million and one times and i still have to take this fucking class!?!?! i'm so stressed already and i have no idea what to do. i just want to cry.

fuck fuck fuck.

really i'm just so frustratedddddd. i can't even explain.

i wish this part of my life wasn't so hard. i wish i had someone here with me to help me through. i wish i didn't feel alone. i wish money wasn't so stressful.

and mostly i wish that i knew for certain that everything will be ok in the end. i've got no clue whether or not i'm going to end up on my ass or not. all i can do is hope for the best.

i just feel so horrible about myself today. i feel ugly. ashamed even. ugly on the inside mostly. i'm just so frightened of failing. of people seeing who i really am. but oddly enough that's all i really want. is for someone to see who i really am. and love me for everything i have to offer.

i just want to go to sleep and wake up with my degree and a career. i'm so over college.