dear mom,

i can't lie to you anymore. it's eating me up inside.

my bike got stolen. i had to buy a new one. i'm really sorry. i really loved the bike you bought for me and i'm just as angry that it got stolen as you are.

i'm not as brave as i seem. i am a little scared to be in the city. and definitely scared that i won't be able to afford it. i just don't want to have to drop out because of money.

i'm attracted to girls.

i wish that you would call me more often. i really miss arguing with you.

i got your daughter drunk the other night. i'm sorry, but she's just so much fun. and i'd rather her be doing it with me, safe, then with her silly little friends.

i smoke a lot of weed. probably as much as you do. and i love it.

i even tried acid a few weeks ago.

i drink because it makes me feel like i'm not trapped in my personality.

i'm scared i will never live up to what you want me to be.

sometimes i feel like you are all that i've got. and it scares me to death. but please don't be angry with me. i'm trying my hardest ma, i really am.

love, lisa



i only wish i was brave enough to talk to you about this.