doubts

i haven't written in a while, i know. i've just been so uninspired. i've been having all kinds of doubts.
are these people the kind of friends i want in my life? is this the right school for me? will i be able to get through this semester successfully? am i doing the right things for me? is the relationship with my boyfriend where it should be? am i becoming the person i want to be? am i really doing everything i've ever hated?
i've just been so stressed. i need a mother fucking job. i apply. but nobody wants to hire someone that can only work 10-15 hours a week. i'm running out of money. i have lots of bills to pay. i'm so broke i might have to start leaving my car back in jersey and have my parents bring me back when i need to come home. gas prices suck ass.
i'm in the middle of a three-D project and i can tell it is just not going to work out how i want it to. drawing class stresses me out more than anything should. i have to finish my color wheels as well. boo.
the other day a close friend jokingly told me that i was a very negative person. whether he meant it as truth or not, i don't know. was i just being negative then or am i that way all the time? that is not who i want to be. fuck.

any advice?